the Long Way Around

the Only Way Through | and Some News

Long ago, there used to be a boy who was known for his wisdom.

Meanwhile, a king doubts the boy’s fame and wants to test it himself.

So, he invites him to his kingdom. And, he asks him —

“How many stars are there in the sky?”
“How many drops are there in the ocean?”

To each, the boy replies with confidence.

Finally, the king asks the boy: “How many seconds are there in eternity?”
To this, he tells the king a story.

“In a land far away, there is a mountain made of pure diamond. It is two and a half miles high, two and a half miles wide, and two and a half miles deep. Every hundred years, a little bird comes to sharpen its beak on this mountain. When the bird has worn away the entirety of it — the first second of eternity will have passed.”

The king was pleased with his answer.
He then welcomed the boy into his kingdom to stay.

I heard this story years ago while watching one of my favorite shows. It resonated with me. Every time I pictured this tiny, defenseless bird making its way to hover in front of a looming, impenetrable mountain — I couldn’t help but see myself.

We all have dreams. You might know that one of mine has been to write a book. Like the bird, I’ve pecked through years of doubt and discouragement only to have found myself at what’s felt like more than a few seconds of eternity.

But, as of today — the mountain has finally been chiseled away.

And so, I’m happy to tell you that I am officially an author with Zondervan Reflective!
In January 2025, you will be able to hold a book I wrote in your hands.

It’s still so surreal. There are so many things I could say.

And did, here.

But, at the moment — I feel a responsibility to share permission to feel the weight of your dreams; to let your hopes, wishes, and prayers be as heavy as I know they can be.

I want to stand in this thin place we’ve all found ourselves at one point or another: between what we believe God can do and what he hasn’t done.

I want to tell you what I wish I could have told myself:
Waiting won’t be easy. And, guess what? It doesn’t have to be anything different.

It can be the most human thing we do, but it also can be the most holy.

When you’ve had to settle in and make a home in this barren wasteland, it’s hard to know anything but the pain of despair. We’re thirsty for hope. But, we pretend to be without want — like hearts of stone without desire.

We’re afraid to voice this truth for fear of judgment or being deemed unfaithful. So we hide our tears, our wailing, and our grief. We minimize our weaknesses. Our needs.

But, when you’re thirsty — you ask for a drink.

Christ doesn’t begrudge us our lament or our questions. He doesn’t hate our humanity.

He welcomes them. He welcomes us and the hopes we carefully hold in our hands.

I’ve learned that living open-handed isn’t easy when we have to close our fists to fight the fear that God doesn’t and won’t deliver. Asking for what we need and want might be counter to our nature, but it certainly isn’t counter to God’s kingdom.

Jesus fills this cup.

I don’t have to withhold from the God of goodness and mercy who is already close behind and with me, holding me and my dreams in his arms. I can trust him.

And, I can hold space for the part of me that so desperately wants to know that she’s cared for — who has to be reminded repeatedly that love isn’t just demonstrated through gifts received, but presence that’s given. I can loosen my grip and unclench my teeth — and know I am more than tended to. I’m cherished. I am beloved.

He does want what’s best for me.
He wants what’s best for you.

We don’t have to work so hard to make meaning out of or perform our way through our pain, suffering, and longing. We don’t have to pretend that our burdens are light when we know Christ has the strength to carry them. We can bring our whole selves to the in-between, not just our polished or pretend parts. We don’t have to fear what we don’t know. We’re safe in the unknown. And, in the waiting.

With you,
Tabitha

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